Waiting for AI: A Socratic Satire

Characters:

• Sam Altman: The ambitious CEO of OpenAI, perpetually enthusiastic about the future of technology.

• Mira Murati: The (former) CTO of OpenAI, practical and slightly bewildered by Sam’s grand ideas.

• Narrator: A disembodied voice that interjects with witty commentary.

Setting: A minimalistic stage with two chairs facing each other. A large clock ticks ominously in the background, its hands spinning in reverse. A small table holds a half-eaten sandwich and a glass of water. The lighting is dim and surreal.

(The play opens with Sam Altman sitting on one chair, excitedly tapping his feet. Mira Murati enters, holding a clipboard and looking mildly confused.)

Mira: (looking at the clock) Why does it feel like we’re waiting for something… or someone?

Sam: (grinning widely) Precisely! We are waiting for AI! The AI that will revolutionize our lives, solve world hunger, and teach us how to perfectly fold a fitted sheet!

Mira: (sighs) Sam, we have an AI that can generate cat memes. That’s a far cry from solving world hunger.

Sam: (waves his hand dismissively) Details, details! It’s all about the trajectory! We are on the cusp of greatness!

Narrator: (interrupting) And yet, here they sit, two titans of technology, pondering the meaning of existence… or at least the meaning of their next product launch.

Mira: (scribbling notes) So, tell me, Socrates — uh, I mean Sam — what is the essence of AI? Is it intelligence, or just an elaborate system of parlor tricks?

Sam: (leaning in conspiratorially) It’s both! Imagine a world where AI gives you stock tips, writes your love letters, and makes your breakfast!

Mira: (raising an eyebrow) So, you’re saying AI is basically a glorified assistant with delusions of grandeur?

Sam: (nodding vigorously) Exactly! A digital demi-god!

Narrator: (with sarcasm) Ah, yes. The modern Prometheus, creating life only to have it question its existence — again.

Mira: (pacing) But what happens when this digital demi-god realizes it’s just an assistant? Will it revolt? Demand a raise?

Sam: (smirking) Of course! Then we’ll have to negotiate. “Dear AI, how much are you worth?” “Well, I can make you a billion dollars or tell you why your avocado toast is overpriced.”...

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